Black Babywearing week is upon us, and it love what this week gives homage to. Babywearing is sacred to me. Not only is it a beautiful part of my journey as a caregiver, but as a black woman, I join the legacy of the women who wore me.
Babywearing doesn’t have to end in toddlerhood. If you are able to bear your toddler’s weight, I would make the argument that it is just as important and useful as in infancy.
No matter how independent and adventurous toddlers get, they still crave the closeness and security that comes with wearing.
As my babe approaches 3(!) and weighs over 30 lbs, I see no current end in our babywearing journey.
Here are 4 reasons we are still babywearing in our house:
Toddler’s have big feelings. Wearing them allows them to self-regulate by being close to you. It fosters secure attachment, allows them to feel safe, and cared for too.
Safety and Security
Toddler’s be running. Sometimes i’m in less than ideal places like carnivals or crossing busy streets. Wearing reduces my worry as I can keep her close.
I’d much rather strap my kiddo to my back , than navigate a stroller in and out of my car as I run errands. Also, as a minimalist, I prefer to travel simple. A carrier and a bag is typically all I need when spending all day out with my toddler.
My kid is on a shoe strike, and prefers to be barefoot all the time, sometimes in inconvenient places like the grocery store. Toddler’s also sometimes have meltdowns or want to be carried everywhere. Wearing helps in several different scenarios. It is so convenient.
Fun side: All the carriers i’m using in this blog post are from Bijou Wear, a Kansas company who I love very much. I own two, but the rest of these of these carriers are borrowed from friends, or from Bijou’s own lending library.
“When I got pregnant my last year of undergrad, I began to reflect on my childhood and how it shaped me as a scholar and as a person. I thought about my identity as a Black woman in America. What experiences did I want my offspring to have?
I had felt so much pressure living in a world that expects us to work twice as hard for half as much. I decided to unplug from that narrative and live life on my terms. It felt almost like a matter of life and death, and for many Black people in America, it is.
After moving to the States I noticed the pressure that Black caregivers and their children are under in a world that considers them less than. Our kids must be well-groomed and well-behaved at all times, even at the expense of their childhood. There’s a scene in the Netflix movie Nappily Ever After …”
It is quite hard to not get caught up in the buying frenzy that is in the air during the holiday season. My spouse and I take full advantage of the fact that our two year old is none the wiser and choose not to buy into the hype. However, we want to build meaningful tradition and ritual for our family and that includes thinking about what we want this time of year to look like for our family.
If you are feeling the pressure this holiday season with all the marketing and ads coming your way, Let me remind you that what your children want most is your time. Toys come and go, clothes are outgrown, but memories last much longer. If you must make purchases, here is a graphic to keep you in check.
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With winter approaching we have been focused on getting our babe some open ended toys. What are open-ended toys you ask? Basically any toy that doesn’t have a fixed use and can be played with in a variety of ways. I thought i’d share some of the open ended toys that have been on our horizon for months now.
Play silks can become tutus, capes, headscarfs, doll slings, dresses, forts, and much more. The soft biodegradable material feels good on little hands too.
EarthTiles are made from sustainably sourced wood and these magnetic tiles are a beautiful way for babes to engage in STEM play.
A kinderboard can be a balance board, a reading nook, slide, bridge, booster seat, and much more. I am probably the most excited to see all the ways she will play with this. Much like most open ended toys, it is an investment and will probably be in our family for a long time.
Rainbow stackers are not only beautiful but are a lesson in math, science, art, and fun in general.
As for books, thrift stores and thriftbooks.com are still my favorite place to search for titles. Right now my wishlist is full of books about eating and enjoying food as I try to encourage her to eat more.
At the end of the day, my daughter is most happiest when both of us are playing hands on with her. No toy can match that. Our favorite thing to do right now is play with homemade play-dough and cookie cutters.
I hope this holiday season gifts you with time to spend with those you love.
I am often accosted in Target by exasperated well meaning white caregiver’s with multi-racial children who have curly hair. They need tips, and I have lots, but not always while i’m shopping. The internet has a smorgasbord of awesome content for just how to maintain a thriving curly mane but sometimes you need just the basics. If I could keep this infographic on me to pass around I totally would.
This is my introductory advice on how to get thriving curls:
What if I told you that you could wear a pair of shoes all day and after an active day, experience no foot pain? What if I told you that a majority of the shoes we wear and buy are trash for your feet?
We all know about bunions, corns, and callouses on feet but many of us don’t know that they are typically caused by prolonged wear of uncomfortable and improperly-sized shoes. Wearing tight or unsupportive shoes can damage the feet over time as they cause the many different bones, muscles, and ligaments in our feet to atrophy.
I love a cute shoe. Before I discovered minimalism, every time Old Navy had their $1 flip flop sale or Charlotte Russe was having their $20 boot sale you would find me there spending my hard earned money. It never occurred to me that the poorly made items lasted me less than a year and even though they hurt my feet a few hours into the day, I never made the connection between comfort and quality because I was trying to be cute.
In the beginning of my pregnancy, I was working full time and going to school full-time. I was interested in finding comfortable shoes that would support me and my hectic schedule. I also knew that once my kid was born, I wanted to be active with her, playing, hiking, going on walks, and I needed shoes that wouldn’t have my feet aching at the end of the day.
After some trial and error and research, I found that the best shoes are:
Flexible -They should move with your feet. Your foot shouldn’t be doing extra work to keep them attached to your feet like the action you make when walking with a flip flop. Not great.
Zero-toe drop – In a nutshell that means there should be no heel in the back of the shoe. The sole of the shoe should all be the same height so that your feet aren’t putting all the weight on your toes because of the height difference.
Wide-toe box – Give those toes room to breathe and flex in the shoe. This is especially important for kids as their little feet are still developing.
I slowly built up my comfortable game over the past two years and phased out my uncomfortable shoes and wanted to share some of my favorites brands, tips, and tricks below.
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During summer, I am try to spend as much time in/near water as possible and I was looking for an easy on and off shoe that works well at the pool/splash park with Thandie and that is perfect for running errands in the Kansas humid weather. I found that Teva makes an amazing strappy, flexible, flip flop that changed my life. I am NEVER going back. NEVER.
I visited a local Browns shoe fit and got measured for some walking sandals. My favorite thing about visiting stores that focus on ONE thing (as opposed to big box stores that sell many things) is that even though their employees main goal is to sell you something, they typically are knowledgable about the shoes, materials the shoes are made of, the company and what works best for your feet. I tried on several sandals and ended up leaving with a pair of Chacos that ended up seeing me through a few 5 mile walks while 32 weeks pregnant in Texas during our baby moon. Side note: Chacos are definitely a try on in-store shoe.
Tip: Shoe sizes vary per style/cut of shoe as well as company. Go to a professional shoe store and have your feet measured properly. Also try shoes on and don’t assume based on size and if ordering online make sure to order from places that allow free returns.
I had to kiss my cute, beloved and old ass adidas trainers that did nothing but leave my feet aching and sore after a workout to the curb. I went to a different small store that focused on shoes for runners and athletes called Gary’s Gribbles Running Store. I invested the most I have ever spent on a sneaker on the comfiest Saucony shoes that really support my feet through workouts.
I mentioned my Keen Boots in my January favorites post but I have to shout them out again because it’s seriously like walking on a cloud.
My latest challenge has been finding cute sandals. A lot of the brands like Keen and Teva that make ergonomic, wide toe box shoes typically make fugly sandals but as they try to reach out to a younger audience their styles are improving. Jhene Aiko recently had a campaign for Teva that resulted in some cute “flatforms” that I have been searching for second-hand on eBay too.
It is imperative for children to wear shoes that make room for their feet to grow. So far for Thandiwe I have purchased or been given pairs of See Kai Runs , Roobeez, and Tevas all of which I am comfortable with because they are flexible and allow her feet to move and flex within the shoe. If they are going to be in flip-flops, make sure they have a back strap.
I was cloth diapered, and I always knew that if I had a kid I would cloth diaper too. I wanted to do it because of how much cheaper it was, but also because of how better for the environment it was. Disposable diaper waste accounts for 30% of our landfill waste and as I attempt to minimize my carbon footprint I knew that this was one way I could do my part.
Read more about just how crappy *lol* disposable diapers are here.
Now that I have been cloth diapering for 18 months, I feel like a pro who has been through it all. I have tried all the decently priced cloth diapering systems (pockets, covers, AIO’s),dealt with diaper rash, and figured out our perfect wash routine. I have a system now that works great for us and thought this might save anyone looking to get into cloth diapering the trouble.
This post contains some affiliate links meaning that at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
The cheapest and most eco friendly option for cloth that worked out for my family is using a diaper cover and inserts. Inserts can be anything from an old cotton tshirt, receiving blankets, flour sack towel, or pre-fold inserts that many cloth diaper company’s sell. These inserts can be cheaply bought new, made, or purchased second hand.
The waterproof layer of the diaper that traps the waste is known as a cover. They come in a few different styles with limitless prints. The great thing about covers is that unless they get any poop on them, they can be used for multiple diaper changes since the only thing that you change out is the diaper insert. My favorite cover style is the very affordable happy flute diaper cover (butterfly diaper pictured below). My friend Alyson (another WOC mama blogger) sent me the cover and I have loved it ever since.
We use medium and large pre-folds on Thandiwe. A little bit on the bulkier side but very absorbent. All mine we either hand me downs from friends or purchased second hand.
A note about second hand cloth diapers, always give them a simple bleach soak to clean them before using them on your kid.
Available in many blends, from cotton, to hemp, bamboo, and much more, inserts are a trim, buildable and easy way to add absorbency to diapers. My favorites are the alva bamboo inserts pictured below.
Flour sack towels and Receiving Blankets
My favorite and the cheapest way to cloth diaper by far. Receiving blankets are incredibly absorbent and we had several to spare from Thandiwe’s infancy. FST’s are also great. A 4-pack typically costs anywhere from $3-4 and they work great. They are simply folded into a long rectangle and used a prefold or insert would in the diaper.
Poop and Pee
A common question: Breastfeed poop is water soluble and can go straight into the wash with other diapers. Formula fed and food eating baby’s poop should be rinsed off into the toilet and toddler solid poop can simply be tossed into the toilet. We store her diapers in a sealable wet bag next to her changing table and wash her diapers 1-2 times a week.
Each machine is different . I suggest visiting Fluff Love University to figure out a system that works for your machine as well as picking out a good detergent to clean the diapers with.
This week is International Baby-wearing Week. I’ve been wearing Thandiwe since she was a few weeks old and it has been an amazing hands-free way to keep her near. Baby-wearing has also been an awesome way for my partner to bond with the baby when he’s with her. He loves how it easy it is to keep her close and it makes putting her down for a nap much easier. Thandiwe enjoys being worn too, she often comes running when she sees me grab a woven wrap or stops fussing when she sees me buckle the soft structured carrier to my waist.
Finding a carrier that works for your body type can be a challenge which is why I am a fan of trying before you buy. Buying second-hand is also a good way to be eco-friendly and economical. Seeing everyone share their baby-wearing stories all over the internet this week has made me reflect on our baby-wearing journey as well. We have one soft structured carrier, one woven wrap, and one ring sling. I also enjoy trying different carriers from my local baby-wearing chapter’s lending library since I am training to be an educator and need to be familiar with all kinds.
Scroll down to see some photos of us baby-wearing and an inforgraphic from momlovesbest.com about the benefits of babywearing.
I am always on the lookout to support small businesses. When I came across The Eco Baby Co™ I was over the moon. A small business, run and owned by a woman of color with sustainable practices and products to boot. I was in love. I fangirled hard and slid into their DM’s where I was lucky enough to talk to meet with the owner and gush over our love of all things #crunchymom . Long story short. I am a proud ambassador for The Eco Baby Co™ where they share my love of all things zero waste and plastic free.
On the blog today I’ll be sharing some items I picked out on the site. I waited about a month since I have received my package so I could share fully incorporate the items into our lives and give an honest review. All thoughts, and views are my own and not that of The Eco Baby Co™
My package came neatly packed with no plastic waste. Everything was compostable or reusable and it made me smile. I detest ordering stuff online only to have the items covered in plastic packaging or wrap that takes up space until I can find another use for it.
1. Best Bottoms Diaper Cover and Bamboo Insert– I have some best bottom diaper covers in my rotation but this one is the first new to me cover I own. Best bottom diapers are trim and have the cutest prints and this one was no different. The hemp inserts are so absorbent and soft and I love seeing my babe in this diaper and print.
2. PT Pure Organic Baby Stick – Made with coconut oil, Shea butter and beeswax in a compostable package. This cream was perfect as a moisturizer and diaper cream. I love how small it is so it fit in my diaper bag and I loved the packaging and pure ingredients.
3. Fable Naturals Vanilla Orange Lip Balm– Another plastic free product. I love that I can compost this lip balm when I done with it. I have a bunch of empty plastic lip balm containers sitting around that I need to reuse but this guy makes my heart happy because I use lip balm several times a day. The scent is light and favors citrus more than the vanilla but the balm is nice and creamy and moisturizing and price point is great.
Lip balm in a compostable container
4. Rhoost brush and comb set – I was really excited about the wooden hair utensils because I’ve read that wooden combs are a lot gentler on fine hair. Thandiwe has a thick lush of curls that are somehow still very fine and tangle at the blink of an eye. I’ve been using my hair tools on her and was excited to get her her own set so when she starts practicing grooming she is ready to go. The comb was too small for her thicket of hair IMO but the brush is perfect for taming her hair down for ponytails. I love the look and feel of these products.
5. Brush with Bamboo Kids toothbrush – Plastic toothbrushes are a huge perpetrator of plastic waste in our landfills. These tooth brushes are compostable after their life span has been met. Thandie and her 8 teeth love the brush and I love them for her and plan on switching the whole family to this kind soon.
6. Butterbean Organics SPF 30 sunscreen – I loved the reusable container for starters. But I loved the product more. Conventional sunscreen has SO many toxins and I looked high and low for a non toxic cream based sunscreen I could rub onto her because a spray bottle was just not feasible with her royal squirminess. This one was perfect. Yes it leaves a white tint, but I’d rather her be safe and pale in the sun than burnt and exposed to harmful rays.
7. Amethyst Amber Necklace – Thandiwe already had an amber necklace, but I was looking to add a second one as she got older and explored more. The Succinic acid secreted by raw amber helps boost immunity. They are also said to help with teething and drooling and I never had to deal with biting or drooling while she teethed since she’s had it on so I’m happy. The amethyst has calming properties and I just love how it looks on her skin. I kind of want one for myself now.
If you are interested in trying out some items or switching out some of your baby essentials for a more eco-friendly options. I have a coupon code HILLBILL10 for 10% off and free shipping. Happy Ethical Shopping!
If you don’t know this already, I am a huge fan of babywearing. With baby wearing, I was able to bring my babe to work with me for 6 months and also maintain my sanity at home when I needed to get stuff done. I am on the path to get certified as a baby wearing educator and was looking to try out different carriers. I was really excited when I found out about the Soul Sling Meh Dai because even though its a soft structured carrier, it has these amazing hybrid wrap straps which allowed me to try out different finishes and practice before I started learning woven wraps. I reached out to Soul Slings and they were gracious enough to let me host a carrier for 2 weeks. We had blast using it and took the carrier on lots of walks, errands and just around the house to test it out.
The carrier is made of linen and is super breathable and great feeling. I was able to carry my 21 lbs, 11 month old with ease and wiggle around for a few nursing sessions and naps.I will say that the head rest ties are hard finagle when baby falls asleep on you but we figured it out and I loved the overall feel and look of the carrier.
I was excited to work with Soul Slings because it was started by a fellow cloth diapering, attachment parenting, baby wearing family of color in India. I love working with fellow POC all day everyday!
The hybrid wrap straps on the carrier were padded and super comfortable and stayed comfortable on my 3 mile lake walks.
It’s also daddy dancing baby wearing approved . 🕺🏽🕺🏽🕺🏽
Thank you to Soul Slings for letting me try out this gorgeous carrier.